I remember these!
I reversed into my drive and hit a tree that I don’t have!
Ofiaich!
Ah, that must be a Mercedes Benz A-Class failing the moose avoidance test 
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If a male cattle beast swallowed an explosive device would it become abominable?
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I used to love camping but i gave it up as it became too intense.
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Two friends meet for a drink in their local:
“Have you seen Craig’s new girlfriend? She’s a stunner!”
“No, is she a model or something?”
“No, she works in an abattoir “
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An English couple touring in an MX-5 were sat in a restaurant in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and were having trouble pronouncing the name, after several garbled attempts they asked the waitress
‘How do you pronounce the name of the place we’re in?’
The waitress replied very slowly and clearly so that even they would understand
‘Bur-ger Ki-ng’
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I learned to pronounce this in junior school in Cardiff 45 years ago and can still remember it fully now. Sometimes used to impress people when they ask if I can speak Welsh
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This stuff just isn’t up to the job, but as of yet, I have been unable to find any intelligent bleach.
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Rain? In South Wales? In February? Who’d have thought it?
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