How to stop lights popping up on sidelights NA Mk1

Followed the guide in the electrics faq:
http://www.mx5oc.co.uk/forum/forums/t/193.aspx
 
but with the relay removed, yes the popups stayed down but the popups also stay down on main beam!!  They only pop up for a bit when flashing or on main beam and I obviously cant drive around like that so I put the relay back on. What am I missing here…?
Thanks
Mark