https://mattersoftesting.blog.gov.uk/category/horror-stories/
Wooden brake pads, stapled together seat belt…
A very long time ago a youth. I, um, knew him, he rebuilt the sills of a Mk3 Cortina with newspaper, byicycle spokes and underseal.
Strange that because a youth I knew, cough, hammered 4 inch nails into the space between the pin and bush of the rear springs on a Morris Minor 1000!
It did pass but that was bad
While he was abroad I remember seeing a former school friend’s Mk2 Zephyr after his landlady had ‘repaired’ it. And then a few days later she actually managed to sell it for him.
She had stuck layers of Fablon over the rust holes in the doors and sills, and then rattlecanned it with the correct body colour. She had also removed the oil filter element to get the pressure back up, and put lots, and lots of STP in the engine to quieten it.
A very practical and pragmatic little old lady, she needed the space on her drive, and to look at her innocent face you’d think that butter could not melt in her mouth…
A friend of mine many moons ago, took his Mk1 Cortina in for its MOT, on collection the mechanic said that it has passed, but he could not get the bonnet open, my mate popped the bonnet and there holding the front wings together bolted across the shocks was a scaffold pole with flattened ends (early form of bracing!), the mechanic uttered some choice words and told him to go away in jerky movements.
20 plus years ago a good friend of mine was given a mini by her boyfriend for passing her driving test the car had an mot put on it the day before she got it 4 days later she was driving home from work when she was pulled over by the police on getting out of her car the police officer said I belive this is yours holding up a large piece of metal on examining her car it was the complete passenger floor that had been held in place by gaffer tape she split up with him 3 days later lol
Nearly 30 years ago I ‘helped’ my girlfriend of the time buy a shiney Mk2 Escort which came with nearly a year’s MOT. In the olden days it was usual to have to fit a stereo which I set about doing on the Saturday morning. As I leant back in the passenger seat I fell over backwards. All four bolts holding the seat to the floor came out with a bit of rusty floor still connected!
My old Corsair with Kent engine and banana bunch manifold and Capri GT straight-thru exhaust was an unusual combination that didn’t quite fit, so there was a 6" length of scaffold pole with chamfered ends replacing the normal tapered ring seal between the two parts of the exhaust, with a pair of very long bolts holding it together.
The first year my local MOT tester saw it he wanted to fail the exhaust as being insecure, but when I demonstrated I could hang my full weight on it with no flex he passed it. The clutch had scared him too, less than 1/4" between On and Off in the middle of 3" pedal travel; he either stalled the engine or spun the back wheels, and I had to ease it onto the lift for him.
Happy days. It was a total bitsa that would not be allowed on the road now; Rover 2000 seats replacing the old front bench, Consul 375 back axle (fitted by Ford as new because they were in surplus, so much bigger brakes than on later Corsairs or Cortinas), floor change replacing the column, Humber Hawk in-line brake servo (nothing before), 5 1/2 J flat ledge rims with 185/13s instead of the original 155/13s, speedo that read 14% low because of a wrong gearbox-diff-speedo combination, and various failed attempts over the years at making the back end stick to the road. And home made hifi with 20Watts of real power per channel of stereo on 8" speakers, ones ears distorted first.
I scrapped it in the end because the rear spring-hanger mounts began to collapse their box sections up into the boot, and I had got bored with all the welding and someone had made me an incredibly generous offer for the engine and closer ratio box.
Having in previous time been an MOT tester I could probably fill a book on this subject wooden chassis outriggers , news paper and filler sills the same 4 wheels and tyres on 4 different taxis , 20£ tucked in the old test cert are few of the ones I remember
And she need the police to tell her?
Sadly and scarily the tyre situation is very very real. You change a tyre because it is destroyed of flat, and find the 3 other are all but slick. You tell the customer and they look at you like you are trying to con them. The normal answer is “I’ll tell my husband” or “OH they were mentioned at the MOT last year” And then they drive off.
I had a mini traveller, when I bought it it had a rotten floor under the driver pedals. A friend of mine cut me a shape out of 1/4" steel shipyard plate that fitted great, no welding. It passed the first MOT but the next year the same garage failed it and addressed the certificate to Fred Flintstone, cheeky devil.
Hmm, on our half-timbered mini traveller the floor was about the only thing that didn’t rot, maybe because of all the oil leaking from the rocker cover and head gasket during its early life. By the time I sold it at twenty three years old (for double what I had paid thirteen years earlier) I had put on new sills, new back apron, both headlight surrounds and backs, new fuel tank, two s/h heads, and both subframes had been replaced a month before I bought it. And the reason I got it cheap was that it had suffered a fire (+earth car -earth radio problem) and the fed-up owner said at work “First person to give me £50 for my ***** mini can have it”.
When I was an apprentice many years ago!
We undersealed a brand new Morris Traveller and left it ticking over outside whilst owner paid for the car in the office.
All of a sudden the car burst into flames as the sealant, oil based, dripped onto the exhaust and caught light!
It wasn’t funny
Ah, fire is scary. Back in the 70’s we were welding my old Cortina rear chassis leg for the MOT when flames shot out the boot. We were in the middle of 3 cars on a long rental pit with the bottles - you’ve never seen half a dozen guys move so fast… Years later my mate had just finished stick welding his Escort for the MOT and was washing off at the kitchen sink and congratulating himself. Then he saw flames coming out his garage window… not good 