Random bits of experience you have picked up in life

General Discussion Forums Life, The Universe and (almost) Everything!
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I was just thinking that this string may be a great opportunity to pass along any experience of life that have helped and may be of benefit to others…

To start things off…(very randomly)

When using a public toilet, always wipe down the seat with some toilet tissue. This achieves 2 things - cleans the seat (an obvious thing really), but perhaps more importantly, also ensures that you know there will be some toilet tissue when you have finished. I learnt the hard way as is the way with these things, but it has saved me since… You may thank me one day!

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dont eat yellow snow :astonished: :rofl: :laughing:

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Don’t assume everyone is reasonably intelligent. :thinking: :astonished: Be warned, there are some real wazzuks out there! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: :crazy_face:

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In the same vein - don’t use public swimming pools. Seriously! I mean, if you had some chlorine on you would you sprinkle it on that yellow snow then eat it? No? Then why is getting mouthfuls of water people have weed in deemed ok :wink:

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I had an Uncle who used to say “Don’t whistle with your mouth full of custard” (of course I tried).

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Never argue with an idiot; anyone looking on won’t be able to tell the difference.

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I fully agree - it took many many years before I understood that not everyone thinks the same way I do. I had always presumed that given one set of facts, everyone will interpret them the same and come to the same conclusions - I was very wrong…

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Always be careful what you wish for because the universe has an uncanny way of giving you it but perhaps not in the way you expected or would have chosen :wink:

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If a woman says “do what you want” , never assume that it actually means that.

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Also if a women replies to anything with the word “fine”, it means the exact opposite, but you had better know why it is not fine…otherwise you are in trouble!!! Oh if they were as uncomplicated as men…

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Common sense is not that common these days

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If it’s any consolation, I don’t understand women either :woman_shrugging:

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That sort of makes sense… :wink:

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It’s ok to say when you are not ok. Don’t bottle everything up!

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Never trust internet advice. :thinking:

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If your wife cooks you a nice meal but a bit later asks you if you want anything crisps snack etc, ITS A TRAP!! if you say yes it’s always followed by “ my dinner not enough for you then “

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When riding a motorcycle, never wave with your right hand

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You’re stuffed either way - if you try and keep physical infirmities to yourself and bumble on as best you can, you’re criticised for not pulling your weight, and if you explain then you’re moaning!
Just my experience anyway, bottom line, just be yourself, do your best, and don’t listen to the critics!!

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Despite what everyone asking for the truth says, honesty is not always the best policy. It will often bite you in le cul quicker than you can apologise for being honest.

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If she ever says “Does my ■■■ look big in this?”……there can only be one safe answer.

Especially if she’s in the shower.

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