Change is inevitable except from vending machines.<o:p></o:p>
Good Medical Advice
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing don’t eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ...
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing don’t eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ...
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Fasting is good for health
&
May the good Lord cleanse your dirty mind...
Fasting is good for health
&
May the good Lord cleanse your dirty mind...
There was I, sat in Costa’s coffee reading the paper when the over whelming urge to break wind came over me…
the music seemed loud and coming to a crescendo so at the appropriate moment I let rip - I felt so much better.
A few minutes later it happened again, knowing the music that was playing I thought I’d wait and repeat the relieving moment - fantastic.
Then I looked round and everyone was staring at me …I’d forgotten I was listening to my iPod.
1 Like
Very good
If at first you don’t succeed,
then skydiving isn’t for you.<o:p></o:p>
Ah Norfolk that says it all, long arms calloused knuckles!!
Hillbilly joke. If your parents get divorced, who gets custody of you, your Brother or your Sister!
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.<o:p></o:p>
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.<o:p></o:p>
Thats true
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.<o:p></o:p>
Get a new car for your wife
it’ll be a great swap!<o:p></o:p>
Police pulled over a teenaged driver and were amazed to find that he had tax, insurance and an MOT, that the car hadn't been stolen , that he hadnt been drinking and that he was not carring any drugs...
So they gave him a £60 fine and three points for wasting police time...
Olympic News Flash
THE FIRST MEDALS HAVE BEEN AWARDED TODAY IN THE YACHTING CONTEST.
TEAM GB TOOK THE GOLD
TEAM RUSSIA TOOK THE SILVER
TEAM SOMALIA TOOK ALL THE BOATS
Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?<o:p></o:p>
The Chinese Olympic Swimmers have vastly improved since Morecombe Bay 2004.
I’m sick of hearing about these olympians & how much hard work they do!!
What do they want… A medal!!
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.<o:p></o:p>
Good advice
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant’s question about his ‘garage door.’
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, ‘When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?’
She smiled and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.’