Focusing on the positives rather than the negatives

Sorry if this is a bit heavy - but I suffer with clinical depression and imagine that since the Covid-19 pandemic and subsequent lockdowns, some here must have been affected to a more or lesser effect… What is annoying is when it affects me and my wonderful MX-5 - What do I mean? - I just lock my focus on silly little negatives, the micro pitting and chips to my windscreen being the latest…! Before this, the very minor surface scratching that becomes visible in sunlight… Am I crazy? :crazy_face: Everything can be sorted!, and it’s not the end of the world FFS! My ND is such a brilliant little car… and we are all here for the love of this wonderful little roadster… the MX-5… Just trying to steer from the negatives to the positives…!

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You will soon be focusing on your cap not flying off in the slipstream, try focusing on that happy thought because it’s coming up fast!
Kind regards Dave

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Depression does very strange things to our thought processes. It can turn the tiniest little annoyances into major dramas and even the happiest events into trials that we have to force ourselves to get through. Sadly, you’re right about this last year making things worse for folk- the country is in the midst of a mental health landslide. If it’s any consolation, it took me about 20 years to learn the best way for me to deal with the bouts when they occur. It’s a personal thing, and may not work for others, but I find that if I just acknowledge it, accept that it’s happening and allow it to run its course rather than trying to battle it, it passes much smoother and far quicker because I’m not wasting my energy.
Daylight and training/exercise help lift the mood too. Can be difficult in those times to get the motivation at first, but a heavy weights session pulls me right up. Writing is good too as it helps take the dark thoughts out of your mind. Other than that, reach out to folk like you’ve done here. I’m learning what a wonderful community this is, and it’s been a real tonic. Just wish I’d joined earlier but no one here will leave you stuck for terrible banter :wink:

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As I typed this I somehow knew you’d have an understanding of this… I acknowledged and recognised the problem years ago which is the first step… I am back on medication now after a really low point during February last year… I tried cycling for a bit when I was back in Milton Keynes but it never really made a difference… Accepting it and not fighting it is the key, and I’m not great at opening up, but am glad to have given it a mention amongst those on the MX-5OC :slight_smile: Thank you!

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Like you say, your MX-5 is a brilliant little car, and was made to be driven and enjoyed! Sure, it’ll show a bit of wear and tear along the way, but the alternative is hiding it away to keep it looking “perfect”. Life is too short! For what it’s worth, your car looks amazing! Nobody but you is going to notice the tiny things you’ve pointed out. :+1:

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Thanks for the compliment… Is appreciated and common sense is coming to my rescue…!

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I very much doubt you and I are the only ones on this forum who experience mental health issues, so who knows? Maybe it’ll turn out that you’ve actually done a really helpful thing by starting this thread- it may encourage others who are struggling to come forward :blush:
Now that the weather’s picking up, if there’s somewhere nice within acceptable travel limits you can go- beach, park or trees, pick yourself up an expensive coffee or something of the like and just take yourself for a long walk in the fresh air. Take the time to notice things like the smell of damp earth, the sound of the birds, the patterns in tree bark. It really takes you out of yourself and reminds you what small dots we are in the history of the world and that our problems are fleeting. Whatever we do, whatever we’re feeling, in the long run, doesn’t matter because the universe is huge, and arbitrary. All that matters is what we can create. Being surrounded by things that are beautiful makes us feel good. It’s important to look after ourselves once in a while and not feel guilty about it, because if we don’t, then it’s impossible for us to help others in return :blush:

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I’m glad to have put this subject out there, and it’s already helping me… Hoping it will help others too in finding something that is out there for us all, nature, fresh air and space… I have the lovely Sherwood Forest on my doorstep for a start and that can’t be a bad thing…! :slight_smile: Though am not going out to rob from the rich for the poor :rofl:

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Lol, that’s alright- my mum was born in Tuxford (Grandad was in the army). She used to play around the Major Oak :rofl:

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Hi, I agree that the best thing to do is share. I am naturally not a sociable person, but even I have noticed that I need to have some social stimulus. I think that men are naturally more reserved than women, who are naturally more sociable and are more able to talk about feelings. Many men (including myself) would not consider discussing what we perceive as a failure with other men and this includes how we feel. By admitting that sometimes we struggle is not a failure though and the sooner we see it like that the better. I think things are changing in that regard, as it used to be “just suck it up and deal with it”.

I find that I need to have something to look forward to. This used to be a holiday, but this is a challenge. One of the reasons I bought my MX5 was partly having a period of time where I could look forward to driving it and then the actual driving it. I used to lie in bed at night and imagine the trips I would like to take in my car - driving in the mountains, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway - even if you have never seen it etc. As you are in control of where you go in these times, you can imagine going down some amazing roads. You can do this anytime and picture yourself looking around and picturing all the scenery that you can see. It does not exist, but the warm feeling and positivity you can get from this does exist. It is putting yourself in a situation in your mind that is pleasant and without any stress or worries - pure escapism.

Then I like to just go out for a short drive with the top down and actually do it - with an MX5 every journey can be fun.

I know exactly what you say about seeing “damage”. I hate decay and entropy - where you have something that is “perfect” and it does not stay that way. However this is impossible with a car and I agree it takes some getting used to. But we have to teach ourselves to accept these things. I also have more OCD than when I was younger, but again, we need to control it. This can turn into a game and games can be fun…

Anyway, there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel we have all been in, so if you need to, imagine all the things that you can do when given the freedom to do them. Some things are realistic and some are not, but it is what we do with our minds that is important. Good luck, take care and remember, there are always people to talk to.

And your car looks great!!!

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Very wise words and such a healthy and positive outlook… We all know the positives are out there, but sometimes our gloom gets gathered in the mist… like a stone rolling down the hill gathering moss as it does so…! Apologies for sounding cliche…! We all take comfort and pleasure, even in the shortest trips we make in our MX-5’s… a moment of escapism for sure…!

Thanks for the compliment Snelly! Don’t need to ask if you are enjoying yours…! :joy:

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If it’s any consolation it’s your enthusiasm for the colour Ceramic that’s made me do almost a complete 180 and now seriously considering Ceramic rather than Soul Red like everyone else! I currently have a pic you posted of your car you put on the pictures thread as the background on my Mac whilst I ponder the decision (in a non-stalker type way :rofl:)

Anyway what I’m saying is that you have helped cheer me up over lockdown :+1:

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Not crazy, but the little scratches and windscreen chips aren’t the problem, just the focus.

It’s easy to be trite. Depression is real and goes beyond sadness or grief, and I’m sorry to hear you are affected.

I’ve never been diagnosed with it myself so perhaps I don’t know what I’m talking about, although I have in the past been prone to the “black dog” which has manifested with extreme tiredness, loss of confidence, indecisiveness, anxiety, and general torpor. Small problems seem magnified, what should be big ones can seem inconsequential. I seem to be much better since I retired which might be a clue to something, although I think it’s mainly an internal problem rather than an external one.

Whilst I don’t like exercise, it does seem to help. As does helping other people (taking some load off the nearest and dearest, cutting the grass for the old[er] neighbours, or volunteering.) - IME trying to fix it with activities would normally be “fun” doesn’t work, the loss of interest when the gloominess sets in just affects all those things.

The Covid lockdown doesn’t seem to have affected me negatively at all although I’m really missing my daughter and grandchildren. My son lives on his own so is allowed to ‘bubble’ with us so we see him once a week. I don’t live alone and I keep in touch with people, which helps, and whilst I’ve had a few weeks off from it I will be back at my Saturday job in the community shop tomorrow. If I start to feel washed out, I take myself for a walk which usually helps.

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I am certainly enjoying mine - will be leaving work 10 minutes early so I can take the long way home!

I agree that Ceramic (ie your car) looks really good. I am not keen on white as much, but yours is not as bright/in your face, which is good. Shame they no longer offer it as a new colour. I like the Soul Red, but there are a lot around because the choice of colours is really limited.

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Thanks Carl-S. Background image on you Mac…, my goodness…! When I went looking to buy an MX-5 last July, and on seeing the Ceramic one, it was like, I really like that…! I remember it being the only one on Autotrader in that colour being advertised at the time, and in the perfect spec!:slight_smile: I think Mazda have stopped doing Ceramic now…, so looks like second hand buys are only option! They are out there… just might take a bit longer to find the one for you…

Anyway, glad to have helped cheer you up during lockdown :+1:
Rob

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Have a safe and fun journey home :slight_smile:

Yes, one criticism is the lack of colours available when buying new - Small price to pay for such a great little roadster :slight_smile:
Rob

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I think it’s important to accept that our cars are never going to be perfect, and not to get hung up on the little things. I have to check myself often getting carried away about swirling or orange peel and then remember that my car is 9 years older than I am and that in the bigger picture the car is still amazing.

For me it’s definitely harder than normal to not get hung up on these things because I’m spending so much of my time with or thinking about my car. This year has definitely been the hardest and lowest year of my life so far and I feel like my life has ground to a halt before it had a chance to get started. And as a result since I got the car in October this year I would say I’ve spent more time with it or thinking about it than another human being. Call it obsession but it’s definitely helped me through this difficult patch.

You’re not alone in how your feeling everyone is in the same position right now, hopefully not for much longer, fingers crossed. I know I feel really lucky just to have my mx5 and I don’t know what I would have done without it.

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Sorry to hear things have been tough for you Rob and lockdown hasn’t helped. I’m sure as the weather gets better and lockdown restrictions ease your focus will be on enjoying driving your mx-5 and any minor issues you have with it will melt away. You have a lovely car there. Lockdown hasn’t been too bad for me, although I’ve missed seeing the grandkids and meeting up with family. Keep your spirits up and look to the future…

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Thanks for that, but the fact is so many have had it so much tougher - the doctors, nurses and all those on the frontline… Once we see the end of the pandemic the aftershocks will resonate for years sadly as we deal with the other health issues, both physical and mental have stacked up since Covid-19. I’m actually quite lucky, even if the grey-matter between my ears gets distorted…! I hope that soon I can see my brother, my sister and my wonderful niece and nephew…! The MX-5 looks so inviting on the drive too… Thanks MX2000 for your kind words, and thanks to all… Everyone has been so welcoming and if this helps others open up too… that can only be good.

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That took guts to post.
By default, you showed inner strengths others ( not here) either lack, or do not know are present within themselves.
For what it’s worth, I spent 15 years profiling people for various reasons, usually for professional job-fit but it took me into incredible realms of what is loosely termed the “human condition”.
I lost my father to suicide when I was 19, so much for a GP who wore himself smooth healing others and cracking under the stress. Far from making me bitter or whatever, it triggered a determination to find out why, and what brings people to critical mass.
I’ve spent 20 years reading & being educated with the work of amazing people like Jordan Peterson.
I’d recommend getting some of his stuff to kick off with.
Equally, feel free to PM me for my mobile for a chat if you wish. If not, that’s fine I can promise you.
You do not know me from Adam after all and your business is just that.

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