Daily jokes

General Discussion Forums Life, The Universe and (almost) Everything!
381

The court room door creaks open and in hops a frog.

“Name?” asks the Judge.

“Frog” replies the frog.

“And what did you do?” asks the judge.

“I dunno” says the frog, “I was in the pond, blowing bubbles and this Policeman arrested me”.

His Honour, dissapointed at the poor judgement of the Policeman, immediately releases the frog.

“Next” calls the judge, the doors creak open and in hops another frog.

“Name?” asks the judge.

“Frog Frog” comes the reply.

“And what did you do?” asks the judge.

“No idea” says the frog. “I was in the pond, blowing bubbles and this Policeman arrested me”.

The judge, even more bemused by the lack of morals of the Policeman immediately releases the frog.

“Next” calls the judge.

Again the doors creak open and in hops another frog.

“Let me guess” says the Judge. “Frog Frog Frog?”

No your honour" replies the frog “Bubbles”…

382

 

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error. “However”, the clerk explains, “it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified”.

Next day the Pope is called and Hell’s staff bids him farewell.

On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven and they stop to have a chat. “Sorry about the mix up”, apologizes the Pope.“No problem” replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: "I am really anxious to get to Heaven"
Tiger: "Why is that?
"Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary"
Tiger: “You’re a day late.”<o:p></o:p>

383

 

A TV INTERVIEW WHICH WAS NEVER AIRED IN THE UK ....

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease,
arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ...

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter:
"I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said:
"Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed) :
"Well, sir, that's a new piece of information.. but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer:
"And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter:
"Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer:
"I am getting to the point, madam.
Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day
... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

The program was never aired .   .   .   . 
384
David staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. 

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. 

Managing not to yell, David sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.   He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood..

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. 

In the morning, David woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. 

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

David said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
385

 

386

 

 
The Morning after the Office Party.
 

Jack woke up with a killer hangover after attending his firm’s Christmas Party.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

He didn’t even remember how he got home.  It’s 8.30.  What day is it?<o:p></o:p>

Thursday.  His wife must have gone to work.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache, his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last night.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.  And, next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the garden.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

He sat up.  The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and all was serene.  He stumbled to the bathroom, also pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye.  This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror.  It was written in red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his wife.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

'I’ll ring your office and tell them you won’t be in today.  Breakfast is in the oven.  Try to eat something and go back to bed for the morning.<o:p></o:p>

There’s snooker on TV this afternoon.  Take it easy today, hope your eye doesn’t hurt too much.  See you tonight.  I love you, darling!  Love, Jillian. x '<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the newspaper.  His teenaged son was sitting at the table, eating.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

Jack, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous night.<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

’ Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.  You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. '<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

Confused, he asked his son, ‘So, why is everything in such perfect order, aspirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting for me?’<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

His son replied, 'Oh THAT!..  Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone you slapper, I’m married!!’<o:p></o:p>

 <o:p></o:p>

Broken Coffee Table £250<o:p></o:p>

Hot Breakfast £3.50<o:p></o:p>

Two Aspirins 20p<o:p></o:p>

Saying the right thing, at the right time…PRICELESS<o:p></o:p>
 
387

Oh god, That really IS funny, I literally laughed out loud at that. I needed that, Thanks!

388

 

389

 A man is driving around a remote area of Cornwall and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ’ He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard…

The man goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.


‘You talk?’ he asks.


‘Yep,’ the Lab replies.



After the man recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ‘So, what’s your story?’
The Lab looks up and says, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5… In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.’
‘I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a bunch of medals.’ ‘I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I’m just retired.’

The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.


‘Ten pounds,’ the man says.


‘Ten pounds? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’

'Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that s…t.’

390

 

 

<o:p> </o:p>

 
               
A 54 year old woman had 
a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.            

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she 
asked "Is my time up?"               

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to 
live."         

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a 
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had 
someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she 
had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of 
it.                     



After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing 
the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.     
            
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, Image removed by sender."I thought you said I had 
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the 
ambulance?"           



(You'll love this)                 
                  
                  



                  
                  
                  
         



God replied: "I didn't #^*@+ recognize you!"                  



 

<o:p> </o:p>

 
 

<o:p> </o:p>

391
ANAGRAMS
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
B
 

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

 

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

 

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

 

THE EYES:  
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

 

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

 

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

  
        <span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>DORMITORY</b>:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #444444; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>DIRTY 
        ROOM</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /><br /><b>SLOT MACHINES</b>:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters: <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>CASH LOST IN 
        ME</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><b>ANIMOSITY</b>:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you rearrange the 
        letters:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>IS NO 
        AMITY</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><b>ELECTION 
        RESULTS</b>:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>LIES - LET'S 
        RECOUNT</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><b>SNOOZE 
        ALARMS</b>: <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> <br /><b>ALAS! 
        NO MORE Z 'S</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><b>A 
        DECIMAL POINT</b>:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>I'M A DOT IN 
        PLACE</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><b>THE 
        EARTHQUAKES</b>:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>THAT QUEER 
        SHAKE</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><b>ELEVEN 
        PLUS TWO</b>:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you 
        rearrange the letters:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>TWELVE PLUS 
        ONE</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br />&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><br /><br /><b>AND 
        FOR THE GRAND FINALE:</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #40a0ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b> 
        <br /></b><br /><br /><b>MOTHER-IN-LAW</b>:<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you rearrange the 
        letters:</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #0000bf; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"> 
        <br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; color: #8000ff; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><b>WOMAN 
        HITLER</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span></span>
392

Dear Father Simon,—

To set the scene, my friend, whom we’ll call Bob, failed to achieve the required grades to enter medical school, so in search of a career with ‘action’ he applied for and successfully joined our local county constabulary.

After four months’ intense training the obligatory attendance at an autopsy was called for at a local hospital. On hearing this Bob enthused at the opportunity to view some real ‘action’.

During the previous four months one particular member of the class had been the ultimate pain in the proverbial, and a loud one at that, quickly obtained the nickname Blackwall Gob. Blackwall had quickly started his boasting “I’ve-seen-it/done-it-all-before…” attitude when he was informed of the pending hospital outing.

Both Bob and the instructor of the class had both quietly aired their opinions of what they thought of Blackwall, and so seeing the mortuary visit as a perfect opportunity to verbally castrate the mighty mouth, started plotting. The day arrived and 26 pasty faces alighted from the police van and entered the mortuary department.

The doctor scheduled to lecture the group was still finishing off a customer (sorry!) and so the group was asked to wait in an anteroom behind the main theatre. This room led off to the refrigerated room where the body drawers were situated. Bob and the instructor pulled Blackwall to the side and asked him if he would like to help play a joke on the rest of the unsuspecting class. Of course he grabbed the chance.

They said he should lie in one of the body drawers with a sheet over him and then when the doctor showed the class around he would pull out the relevant drawer and then Blackwall could sit up and frighten the rest of the class. We duly stripped him of his uniform down to his Y-fronts and laid him to rest!

To make it clear to those of you who are unfamiliar with a mortuary drawer, when the drawers are pushed back in, the fridge is open plan. That is to say when Blackwall was pushed back in, he could look either side of him and see all the other ‘residents’!

They assured Blackwall that he would only be in there for two or three minutes… They knew that after ten minutes one of two things would happen – either he would start shouting and banging to get out, or he would mutter something like "For goodness sake, hurry up…"

Well, the latter occurred, as planned, and this is where a strategically placed second person came into play! Another ‘keen to quieten Blackwall’ candidate had offered his services. He lay in an adjacent drawer and in reply to Blackwall’s lonely (or so he thought) mutter replied, "Cold in here, isn’t it?"

To say that the screams from Blackwall Gob could have woken the dead is not an overstatement, and to say he was introverted after the prank is perfectly true.

I would like to beg forgiveness for Bob and his instructor, but also for the likes of myself who thinks the prank hilariously but quite rightly cruel.

Yours requesting absolution,

Natalie

 

393

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling, take   celibacy.
This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed   by environmental factors.
 
While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend,  Tony  and  Julie  listened to the instructor declare ‘It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.’
 
He addressed the men. ‘Can you each name and   describe your wife’s favourite flower?’

Tony leaned over, touched Julie 's arm gently and   whispered,
 





 

‘Self-raising, isn’t it?’
 
Thus began Tony’s life of celibacy.—

394

I hate sex in the movies… Tried it
once. 
 
 The seat folded up, the drink spilled
and 
 
 That ice, well, it really chilled the
mood

Big Smile

395

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling.  Take celibacy.
This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental factors.

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Tony and Julie listened to the instructor declare 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'

He addressed the men:

Can you each name and describe your wife’s favourite flower?'

Tony leaned over, touched Julie’s arm gently and whispered,

'Self-Raising, isn’t it?'

Thus began Tony’s life of celibacy.

396

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you slice.

Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily thought: Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

 

397

Doesn’t that seem a rather familiar joke Clown? Thinking I’m sure I’ve come across it before… Smile

398

Well, seeing as you have made the comment…Wink—

 

399

 Just a few little ones to brighten your day!!!

 

  1. The man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died age 93.Cry

 Hardest part was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in…Big Smile

And then the trouble started!!

2) I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it…

3) One good thing about Alzheimer’s is you get to meet new people every day…

 4) If you are going to build a snowman look out for dog crap!! Dog

It makes great eyes, noses, ears etc…Idea

WinkWinkWink

5)Finally i’ve got to add this one… but for adults only…

A married girl goes to her mother and says " I’m going to get a divorce!!"

“Why would you do that?” Asks her mother…

“Well” says the girl… "My husband has this thing about anal sex !! 

I just cant take anymore. Its 3 or 4 times a day every day!!

 When we met my bumhole was the size of a 5p!!! now it’s the size of a 50p!!"

The mother thinks for a moment and this is her response…

“My dear daughter… You have a loyal, loving husband, A home worth a million pounds, 2 highly intelligent & beautiful children, Have 4 holidays a year, A brand new Mercedes every 6 months, jewellery and furs beyond your wildest dreams!!”

“Do you really want to give all that up for the sake of 45p?”Sick

400

 A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and
sees that it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills.  He guesses there must
be at least ten thousand dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender
and asks, “What’s with the money in the jar?”
“Well…, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus.”
The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up, so he asks, “What are
the three tests?”
“You gotta pay first,” says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.
“Okay,” says the bartender, “here’s what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or
less, and you can’t make a face while doing it.”



“Second - There’s a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth.
  You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.”


"Third - There’s a 90-year old lady upstairs who’s never had sex.  You
have to take care of that problem."



The man is stunned!  “I know I paid my $10 – but I’m not an idiot!  I
won’t do it!  You’d have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then
do all those other things!”

“Your call,” says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where’s the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks – but he doesn’t make a face – and he
drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained
to a pole.  Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling,
screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight – then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar.  His clothes are ripped to shreds and he’s bleeding from
bites and gashes all over his body.   He drunkenly says, “Now…,
where’s that old woman with the bad tooth?”